An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter.
“Here is your ocean-side condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.”
“Heck, Gloria,” the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, “we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn’t heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!”
Wife: “Honey, don’t forget to buy BREAD when you come home from work and your girlfriend Valerie greets you.” Husband: “Who is Valerie?” Wife: “Nobody, I just wanted you…
After her husband dies, the wife gets him cremated and takes the ashes home. She sets them on the table and starts talking: “You know that fur…
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I thought my husband was cheating, so I decided to surprise him by coming home early to catch him. But when I walked in, he was just…
side, mainly because your neighbor’s sprinkler system is better than yours. That’s where I, Kristie, wife of Thompson, decided to plant my roots with my 8-year-old son,…