An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter.
“Here is your ocean-side condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.”
“Heck, Gloria,” the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, “we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn’t heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!”
Johnny,” says the teacher, “what’s the first thing your father does in the morning?” “He takes a shit, sir,” says Johnny. “Oh,” says the teacher, “and what…
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A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (a blonde) picked up the phone, listened for a moment, and…