When Leighton and her boyfriend, John, go to his favorite steakhouse for his birthday dinner, she imagines a calm night out celebrating John. But as their dinner comes to an end, feelings and emotions get out of hand when Leighton’s moral obligations do not allow her to pay for John’s part of the meal.
I never imagined that his birthday would end with him screaming at me in a parking lot, accusing me of ruining his night. If I could rewind that dinner, maybe I’d change a few things. But the truth is, I stuck to a boundary that I created way before John and I started dating.
I didn’t think that I was wrong. But now, I’m not so sure.
Let me back up.
John and I have been dating for almost a year now. And things were fine, mostly. He’s 30 and I’m 28, and we have our ups and downs like everyone else.
“We’re just figuring it out, Leighton,” he would say to me after one of our fights. “We’ll get past it all.”
I always agreed because there just seemed like something special was growing between us. And I liked the fact that John wanted to settle down.
But one thing that has always been a point of tension between us is food. I’ve been a vegetarian since I was eleven. I’m not one of those people who push their beliefs on the next person, but for me, it was all about moral and personal reasons. It’s a part of who I am, and that’s just the way it’s been for the longest time.
And one more thing: I’ve made it clear that I’m not going to spend my money on meat. That’s my bottom line.
John knows this.
In fact, he knew it from day one. When we first started dating, I told him straight up.
“I don’t have any issues with you eating meat, but I won’t pay for it. It’s just a personal rule.”
He laughed at the time and said that it wasn’t a big deal.
But now, looking back, I realize how often it actually became an issue. At first, it was small stuff, like splitting the bill when we went out to eat. Sometimes he’d order a vegetarian meal, and I’d happily cover both of us.
Other times, he’d get something meaty, and I’d pay for my part, expecting him to cover his.
It was fair, or so I thought.
But John didn’t seem to think so.
“It’s just food, Leighton. Jeez. You’re fussing over this? You’re not going to change the world by not buying a burger. Gosh.”
And that would be his line every single time I explained my point of view or stance to him.
Still, shouting my opinion wasn’t how I did things. So I let it go.
But then came his birthday. And that’s when everything truly fell apart.
We’d been talking about John’s birthday for weeks. I initially wanted to do a fancy dinner at home, mainly so that I could cater for myself. But the thought of cooking meat wasn’t fun.
“I don’t want to have something at home, Leigh,” John said. “Then we’d have to entertain people. Let’s just do dinner together. Just the two of us.”
“Fine,” I agreed, thinking that it was the easier of the two options anyway.
But when John mentioned where he wanted to go, I cringed completely.
A steakhouse. He wanted to go to a steakhouse.
Later, when the bill came, John didn’t even hesitate. He slid it across the table with a grin.
“So, you’ve got this, right, Leigh?” he said.
I had only been there once before, and it was a nightmare for me. There was barely anything on the menu that didn’t involve meat, except for maybe two salads and baked potatoes.
But it was John’s birthday, and I wanted to be supportive of him.
The night started off just fine, better than I expected, actually.
John picked me up and came inside for a quick glass of champagne before we left for the steakhouse.
“Happy birthday, darling,” I said, giving him his present, which was a new pair of fancy sneakers that he had been eyeing for the longest time.
Honestly, it did put a dent in my monthly budget, and as a junior copywriter, I didn’t get paid as much as I would have wanted. But it was John’s birthday, and I figured he deserved some extra attention.
Which is why I got all dressed up and dabbed on my favorite perfume. I wanted everything to be perfect.
When we got to the steakhouse, we sat at a little table in the corner, trying to make things as romantic as they could be in a steakhouse.
John seemed happy. He smiled widely and kept reaching for my hand.
I ordered a Greek salad and a baked potato, and he went all out. Again, it was his birthday, and he deserved this, right?
He ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, a bottle of wine for us to share, and some sides. I didn’t say anything when he ordered the steak, even though I knew what was coming.
I didn’t know why, but part of me hoped he’d remember my rule. Maybe, just maybe, he’d choose something else… or at least be prepared to pay for his own meal.
After the food arrived, we ate in silence. John seemed to savor every bite of his steak, and at intervals, he would pick up his phone to reply to birthday messages.
Later, when the bill came, John didn’t even hesitate. He slid it across the table with a grin.
“So, you’ve got this, right, Leigh?” he said.
I looked at him, a little taken aback.
“Wait, what? You know how I feel about this…”
“It’s my birthday, Leighton,” he said with a flip of his hand, like that explained everything.
I frowned, trying to remain calm.
“John, I told you before. I am not paying for meat. I’ll cover the wine, the sides, and my portion of the meal. But the steak? That’s on you.”
He blinked at me, the smile fading from his face.
“You’re kidding, right? For goodness’ sake, it’s my birthday, Leighton.”
I sighed. The tone in his voice told me that this wasn’t going to go well.
“I know that it’s your birthday. But that doesn’t change my rule, John. I’m not paying for the steak. And besides that, your birthday present has set me back with my budget.”
John’s expression hardened in an instant, and he leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms.
“So, you expect me to pay for my own birthday dinner? And you’re trying to make me feel bad for getting me a birthday present?”
“I didn’t expect you to order the most expensive thing on the menu and assume that I’d cover it,” I shot back.
John scoffed, shaking his head.
“I didn’t budget for this. I thought you had it, Leighton. What a disappointment. Well, happy birthday to me, I guess.”
I leaned forward, trying to keep my voice down. The last thing I wanted was to cause a scene.
“John, I’ve told you before. I don’t spend money on meat. I’ll do the rest, but you have to cover the steak.”
I spoke slowly as I repeated my words, trying to get it to sink in.
But John just rolled his eyes and sat back, staring at me like I’d just told him that the sky was green.
“It’s my birthday, Leighton,” he repeated. “My girlfriend is supposed to treat me.”
“I did treat you!” I snapped. “I got you a present, John! I’m paying for most of this meal. Honestly, what more do you want?”
At this point, I could feel the other diners glancing over at us. I tried to lower my voice, but I was getting flustered.
“And you cannot possibly expect me to just throw my principles out the window because it’s your birthday. What sort of woman would I be?”
He stood up suddenly, his chair scraping against the floor, and threw his napkin down on the table.
“You know what? I need a minute.”
Before I could even respond, John stormed off toward the bathroom, leaving me sitting there like an idiot. My face burned with embarrassment. Everyone was watching now.
I sat there for ten minutes, then twenty.
The waiter came by and refilled my water glass, eyeing the empty seat across from me.
“Would you like another glass of wine?” he asked me politely.
I shook my head.
“No, thank you… But could you get a card machine?”
He smiled and nodded.
“You’re so damn selfish, Leighton. You couldn’t just pay for one meal? On my birthday?”
When he brought it over, I paid for my meal, the wine, and the sides. But not the steak.
“My boyfriend will pay for that,” I said. “We have a thing where he pays for his meat.”
The waiter gave me a puzzled look and nodded again.
“That’s not a problem,” he said.
After twenty minutes of waiting for John, I decided to leave. I figured he’d cool off eventually and come find me.
Sure enough, as I walked out of the restaurant, I saw him sitting on a bench near the parking lot, sulking.
“What the hell, John?” I asked. “You just left me in there!”
He looked up, not even apologetic.
“Did you pay?” he demanded.
“I paid for what I owed,” I said. “You need to go back for yours.”
“I’m not going back in there, Leighton,” he said.
“What? Why not?” I asked.
“Because they’ll recognize me. Don’t you see? It’s like a dine-and-dash situation. I walked out. They saw me. I’ll be banned from this place if I go back in.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I couldn’t believe this man’s logic.
‘”You’re the one who walked out without paying, John. That’s on you.”
He glared at me, anger flashing in his eyes.
“You’re so damn selfish, Leighton. You couldn’t just pay for one meal? On my birthday?”
I stared at him, stunned. “I’ve done nothing but pay for you tonight. But I told you from the beginning, I’m not paying for meat.”
“It’s not about the money, Leighton! It’s about you being so damn stubborn. Grow up!”
I could feel my hands shaking. I took a deep breath, forcing myself to stay calm. ‘I’m not doing this. I’m leaving.’
I turned on my heel and started walking toward the car, expecting him to follow. It was his car, but I had the keys. When I turned around to see where he was, he was just sitting there, sulking like a kid who didn’t get his way.
I got in the car, slammed the door, and drove home alone. The entire drive, I couldn’t stop replaying the night in my head. How had it all gone so wrong? Was I really the bad guy here?
When I got home, I texted him.
Just suck up your feelings and attitude and go settle the bill. It’s your favorite steakhouse. Are you really not going to go back there?
He didn’t respond for hours. And when he did, it was just more accusations at me.
I didn’t bother to reply. I knew that he would come over and get his car soon. We could talk then.
What would you have done?
