THEY ARRESTED ME FOR BREAKING INTO MY EX’S HOUSE—BUT I SWEAR, IT WASN’T WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE

Okay, yes—I was inside his house. Yes, I had a key. No, he didn’t know I still had it. But listen, it’s not what you’re thinking.

See that orange tabby in the cop’s arms? His name is Marbles. He’s mine—or he was mine before Julian decided he wanted “joint custody” after the breakup. It was a stupid agreement I only agreed to because I felt bad that Marbles liked him too. I know. I’m a pushover.

Anyway, two weeks ago, Julian stopped responding. To texts, DMs, even Venmo requests for cat food. So I drove by. His car was there. Marbles’ bowls weren’t outside like they usually were.

I panicked.

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