My husband, John “Bucky” (M26), and I (F24) just returned from our week-long honeymoon two weeks ago.
We call my husband “Bucky” because he resembles the character from the MCU movies. My Bucky is a bit more yummy.
Yesterday was the first time we had dinner with his family since the wedding. My sister-in-law (F20) is my favorite person besides my husband, which is why she was my Maid of Honor. She took me aside and told me what happened behind the scenes at my wedding.
A bit of background first: My mother-in-law (F48) never liked me, and she didn’t hide it from me, though she did hide it from her son. This started from the moment we began dating. She would play nice in front of him but make nasty comments as soon as he was out of sight.
At first, I didn’t say anything to Bucky, hoping that, in time, his mother would warm up to me. But it never stopped. Eventually, I had enough and started telling Bucky.
Bucky spoke with his mother, but she claimed I was misunderstanding her. She didn’t stop; she just became subtler, saying things that could be interpreted in multiple ways.
I don’t blame Bucky, he did believe me, but he also believed his mother when she said she meant something else.
When Bucky proposed, I thought that would be the end of it, but she only got sneakier. I almost called off the wedding because I couldn’t handle it anymore. We had arguments, and it was frustrating.
Bucky always believed me but didn’t believe it was his mother’s intent to be hurtful. Somehow, we got through it and started planning the wedding.
My sister-in-law helped with the wedding planning and preparations, and because my mother-in-law was minimally involved, everything was perfect.
From my perspective, everything went as planned on the wedding day, though we started a bit later. Bucky told me it couldn’t be avoided because something important came up last minute. I assumed it was work-related, so I didn’t ask.
But now I’ve heard from my sister-in-law what actually happened. I was in the bridal suite, so I didn’t see or hear any of this.
My mother-in-law arrived at the venue wearing white. When Bucky found out, he asked my sister-in-law to bring her to his ready room, along with his other siblings and father.
When my mother-in-law walked in and tried to hug him, Bucky stopped her. He asked what she was wearing, and when she dismissed it, he repeated the question differently: Why was she wearing white at his wedding? Why was she trying to hurt his soon-to-be wife? Why was she trying to ruin his wedding day?
I think phrasing it as his day rather than my day got to his mother. He reminded her that it was his wedding too. She still tried to dismiss it, saying he was overreacting and it was just a dress.
That’s when he lost it. He started yelling at his mother, saying that he now realized I wasn’t misunderstanding her—she was deliberately being hurtful to me. He yelled that he had been defending her to me all this time, but now it was clear that I was the one who needed defending.
He accused his mother of trying to sabotage his relationship. When my father-in-law tried to say something, Bucky shut him down, saying he didn’t want to hear it because they had stood by and enabled her behavior.
Bucky then told his mother, “Because you’re my mother, I’m willing to postpone the wedding by half an hour to give you a chance to change. I don’t care if you go home, to a store, or wherever.
Just leave now and only come back when you’ve changed. If you refuse, you will never see me, my wife, or our future children ever again. Do I make myself clear?”
The wedding was perfect, and my mother-in-law wore a blue dress.
I don’t know how to thank this man enough. His birthday is in three months, and I’m going to have to plan something extra special.
