Artist: “okay, whatever you want then. Let’s take a look at art the art book to see if there is something you want.”
Old lady: “I already know what I want. I want a Christmas tree on my left thigh, and a turkey on my right thigh”
Artist: “uhhhh ok, I will do that, but could you answer me as to why you would want such a thing?”
Old lady: “Because in sick of my husband complaining there is nothing to eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving!”
Daughter: Dad, I have a flat tire! Dad: Can’t you call your husband? Daughter: I tried, he didn’t answer. Dad: Do you have a spare? Daughter: He…
So I was at the store earlier with my service dog. The lady in front of me at checkout had about $200 worth of toilet paper in…
Introduction to Agate Burnishers
Paddy calls his wife from the hospital. Paddy says, “Honey, I had an accident at work.” His wife replies, “Oh my God, what happened?” Paddy says, “I…
A dwarf with a lisp goes into a stud farm…. ‘I’d like to buy a horth’ he says. What sort of horse?’, said the owner. ‘A female…
Boy aged 4: Dad, I’ve decided to get married. Dad: Wonderful; do you have a girl in mind?! Boy: Yes… grandma! She said she loves me, I…