A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband’s two.She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she’s done, she goes to the
kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. He says, “Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?”
Daughter: Dad, I have a flat tire! Dad: Can’t you call your husband? Daughter: I tried, he didn’t answer. Dad: Do you have a spare? Daughter: He…
So I was at the store earlier with my service dog. The lady in front of me at checkout had about $200 worth of toilet paper in…
Introduction to Agate Burnishers
Paddy calls his wife from the hospital. Paddy says, “Honey, I had an accident at work.” His wife replies, “Oh my God, what happened?” Paddy says, “I…
A dwarf with a lisp goes into a stud farm…. ‘I’d like to buy a horth’ he says. What sort of horse?’, said the owner. ‘A female…
Boy aged 4: Dad, I’ve decided to get married. Dad: Wonderful; do you have a girl in mind?! Boy: Yes… grandma! She said she loves me, I…