I drank it.
I thought maybe he’d like whiskey better than beer so we tried a Jameson’s.
Nope, no cigar!
In desperation, I had him try Maker’s Mark 46 – The bar’s finest whiskey.
He wouldn’t even smell it.
What could I do, but drink it?!
By the time I realized he just didn’t like to drink,…
I was so shit-faced I could hardly push his stroller back home!
Daughter: Dad, I have a flat tire! Dad: Can’t you call your husband? Daughter: I tried, he didn’t answer. Dad: Do you have a spare? Daughter: He…
So I was at the store earlier with my service dog. The lady in front of me at checkout had about $200 worth of toilet paper in…
Introduction to Agate Burnishers
Paddy calls his wife from the hospital. Paddy says, “Honey, I had an accident at work.” His wife replies, “Oh my God, what happened?” Paddy says, “I…
A dwarf with a lisp goes into a stud farm…. ‘I’d like to buy a horth’ he says. What sort of horse?’, said the owner. ‘A female…
Boy aged 4: Dad, I’ve decided to get married. Dad: Wonderful; do you have a girl in mind?! Boy: Yes… grandma! She said she loves me, I…