Man Wakes Up Thinking He’s Dead


Peter said, “Hmm, perhaps that could be arranged.  It does involves a lot of paperwork… but sure.  You’ve got two alternatives: you can come back as a fish or as a hen.”

Ralph never liked swimming, and thought that perhaps being a hen wouldn’t be that bad after all.  Walking around pecking at the ground, no stress, and if the local rooster was nice then perhaps it could be a comfortable existence.

Ralph replied, “Okay, then I choose to be a hen.”

The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past.  “So, you’re the new hen, eh? How’s your first day here?”

“Not bad,” replied Ralph the hen, “but I have this strange feeling inside.  Like I’m gonna explode!”

“You’re ovulating,” explained the rooster

“Don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before?”

“Never,” said Ralph.

“Well, just cluck twice and then push.”

Ralph clucked twice and pushed, and voila, out popped an egg!

Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood for the first time.  He then clucked twice, pushed, and out came another egg.  His joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout, “Dammit, Ralph! Wake up.  You’re shitting the bed!!!”

Related Posts

Clean Humor: When the Nun ran out of gas, she did this – the men couldn’t believe it

A young Nun who worked for a local home health care agency was out making her rounds when she ran out of gas. As luck would have…

Clean Country Music Joke – There was a guy who wants to be a proctologist, so he goes to the morgue to practice

There was a guy who wants to be a proctologist, and he wants to be a really good proctologist… … so he decides to go down to…

Funny Clean Joke: A student wanted to earn some money

A student wanted to earn some money and decided to hire himself out as a handyman-type. He started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. He went to the front…

Clean Humor: These two elderly ladies loved playing Softball – then one went to heaven

Two 90-year-old women, Bertha and Betty, had been best friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Bertha was dying, Betty visited her every day….

Clean Joke: The Story Of The Missing Penguins

A man is driving down the highway… … when he sees a shipping truck wrecked on the side of the road, and 25 penguins waddling around outside…

Clean Joke – The man asks the boy how he catches so many fish

A man has been out fishing by the lake all day… … and hasn’t caught anything. He decides to just give up and call it a day,…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *