Funny Joke ‣ Banned From The Supermarket

Yesterday I was at my local supermarket buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.

I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I’d lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.

The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter’s arse and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

I’m now banned from that supermarket.

Related Posts

Superstitious Dad Nervous After Daughter Says Goodbye To Him

Although we live in modern times, hundreds of years removed from an age where the majority of folks believed the world was run by magic, there’s still…

Social Security Application

‘Unbutton your shirt’.So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she…

Hotel Manager Tried To Overcharge An Elderly Couple.

2 | Hotel Manager Tried To Overcharge An Elderly Couple. Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here,” the Manager says.But we didn’t go to any of those…

Little Johnny Walks in on his mother

Little Johnny walks in on his mother in the bathtub.He asks his mother what is the big fuzzy patch below her bellybutton.She replies, “A bush.The next day…

Wife discovers

A man and his wife are at a high school reunion…… and the husband keeps staring at a gorgeous drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby…

Spaghetti

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years.One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *